


Just Be Good to Me: Prequel One-Shots

by CeSelle29



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, Friends Supporting Friends, Friendship bond, Grief, High school days, Lostia post breakup, Prequel to fic that may never be written, Sadness, Trauma, band au, implied past drug abuse, struggling with pain, wallowing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2019-12-27 03:49:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18296234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeSelle29/pseuds/CeSelle29
Summary: Series of one shots of a band AU that may never be written. Mecha Station is the new up and coming band in town, featuring war-painted Lexa on lead vocals/guitar, softy Murphy on bass, Octavia slaying the beat on drums and all around badass and "ladie's lady" Raven Reyes on keys/guitar. Sometimes being in a band isn't everything it's supposed to be and being in love isn't anything like it is in the movies.Sometimes all we can ask of someone is to please "just be good to me."-----A Band AU no one asked for, where Lexa and Raven have been best friends since the end of high school.Tags will continue to get updated as I add one shots





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lexa and Costia had a cataclysmic breakup, and now Raven is worried about her best friend. They've always been close, closer than close. Sharing secrets, issues and troubles with each other, their friendship has carried them through college and into the start of their success in the band. But their history has more than just shared dorm rooms, apartments and nights spent on the couch with ice cream, popcorn and tequila. Is your first love ever easy to live up to?

Raven used her key to push into the farmhouse door. She put bags of groceries down on the counter and popped the milk she bought into the fridge, rolling her eyes at the sight of its emptiness in the process. “LEXA!” Her voice rang through the house, bouncing off walls. There was no chance she hadn’t heard Raven. She was in the middle of stocking the cupboard with Oreos when she got an idea.

Grabbing a plate and a glass, she prepped a small tray, climbing the stairs with it in hand. Raven stood outside Lexa’s door. “It’s been two days Lex, come on. Let me in. What did you do? You need to eat. You need to tell me what the hell happened!” She waited for a grunt, the sound of a shoe being thrown at the door. Anything. A response. A sound of movement that might mean Lexa hadn’t done the worst. “Fine, if you’re going to do this, that’s it. I’m opening the door.”

They had a system for picking the locks in the house, it was simple really. A few too many nights of bad drinking that ended with someone’s face in the toilet and the other two on the wrong side of the locked door. Too many nights of veiled threats with pill bottles clamoring. Raven set the tray down in the hallway and got the “key”. She pushed the door open and was greeted with a state not much worse than she was expecting. Laundry from four days ago, when Raven had been home, was piled on the opposite half of the bed. She could see a trail of Lexa’s clothes around the room as she had thrown them off. The shades were pulled down and her coat was kicked into the corner in a heap. Lexa was curled up facing the laundry, her arms over her head, hiding her face. “Lex…”

A sound Raven hadn’t heard since the day she met Lexa came from the bed.

“Murphy said he tried to talk to you yesterday and you wouldn’t answer the door. I’ve been calling your phone, but I think it’s dead.”

The bed started to shake. Lexa rolled over to look at the door, no longer trying to hide her face. She uttered the words Raven had been terrified of hearing for too long. “She’s gone.”

Raven was across the room in seconds and scooped Lexa up from under the covers. She pulled her best friend into her lap and held her close, feeling Lexa’s tears falling on to her shirt, her shakes rattle against Raven’s chest and her fingers gripping the seams of Raven’s shirt. “Lexa…”

-

Two days ago after a gig, Raven had been heading out with a girl after the show. She was slipping out of the girl’s place, waiting for the elevator and thinking about how she really needed a place of her own in the city when her phone buzzed. ‘ _ Don’t come home. Can you crash at O’s?’ _

_ ‘Sure, everything okay?’ _

_ ‘Don’t know, can’t talk about it. Cos is overreacting… it’s just best if you don’t come home…’ _

Raven gulped and stepped into the elevator, giving Octavia a call.

“No, I don’t know what’s happening. She’s shut me out… O, I think this is about me.”

“That’s bull shit. If Costia is pulling this shit again Lexa needs to let her go.”

“I know… I’ve been telling her that. I’m crashing over there.”

“No problem, try to get here soon. It looks like it’s about to pour.”

It started to pour just before Raven reached Octavia’s building.

The next morning Raven had tried to text Lexa again.  _ ‘Call me? Is everything okay, Lex?’ _

_ ‘It’s fine Rae… I just… I just need to be alone.’ _

_ ‘Lexa. Alone?’ _

_ ‘Yes. Alone.’ _

_ ‘Alone alone? Or alone with a bottle. I’m coming home.’ _

_ ‘Please don’t I’m fine.’ _

_ ‘Yeah that has me incredibly convinced.’ _

Raven only stayed in the house long enough to shower and change, before heading back into the city to work. She figured Lexa had been up late when she tried knocking on the door and left her alone to sleep.  Coming home to a closed door later that night, Raven tried to offer Lexa some dinner, only to be greeted with a loud grunt and the sound of a shoe hitting the door. “Fine, turn down sushi! That’s fine, just more Tokyo rolls and Gyoza for me then!”

The next morning was more of the same, so Raven asked Murphy to try to make some headway with their roomie while Raven was at work. He had had as much luck as she did, and Octavia couldn’t get Lexa to open the door later that night. But two days locked in the room was more than Raven could take, her stomach was turning and doing flips as she drove home.

\--

Lexa sobbed into Raven’s chest as her best friend pulled her closer and closer. Raven brushed the mess of a mane away from Lexa’s face and tried to wipe away some of the tears whispering soft words to her. “Lex…” Raven reached behind her and grabbed a t-shirt from the pile of clean laundry on the bed. “Put this on, come on…”

Raven pulled the shirt down over Lexa’s torso and pulled her closer. “I guess this means you showered at some point… those are  _ not _ the panties you went to the gig in.”

Lexa snorted, “Did you watch me get dressed, weirdo?” It came out stunted between sobs along with a half-hearted punch to Raven’s shoulder. Lexa wiped tears from her eyes, seemingly in vain as they were only replaced with more.

“No, but you  _ told  _ me you were wearing the new ones you just bought on Friday, and seeing as I’ve seen these on you since junior year, I know you’ve changed.” Raven caught Lexa under her chin with a single finger, searching her eyes. “Can I get you a tissue?”

“No,” Lexa sniffed loudly and then reconsidered as her hand automatically came up to wipe her nose. “Well yes, but I used the box up two days ago.”

“Alright,” Raven set Lexa down on the bed gently and headed into the hallway and down to her room, grabbing the box from in there and returning to Lexa’s. She found Lexa with her knees curled into her chest, frozen on the bed. “Lex… come on, blow your nose for me.” Raven held the box out.

Lexa took a tissue and made a sound not dissimilar to a muted trumpet. “Thank you,” She barely looked up from her knees as Raven sat back down on the bed, the tissue box in between them.

They sat that way for few minutes, the elephant in the room continuing to go unspoken. Lexa slowly got ahold of herself, the tears slowing down and her breathing calming so Raven was no longer worried about a risk of hyperventilation.

“Lex…” Raven knew she couldn’t push her too hard.

“I know… just… It’s hard, okay.” Lexa heaved a sigh and squeezed her eyes shut. She let her head fall back until it hit the wall.

“I know… please, don’t hurt yourself.” Raven reached across and squeezed her best friend’s hand. “Can you at least tell me who finally called it?”

It was another minute before Lexa responded. “Me. I ended it. It’s over. Two and half years of history obliterated.”

“No… Lex… Don’t say that.” Raven shook her head, already worried where this was headed.

Lexa was quick with her own head shake. “I don’t blame myself. I blame her. She did this to us, ripped us in two. She… she was jealous. Jealous of something that doesn’t exist.”

Raven gulped. It was the same argument the rest of the band had been over-hearing since they started to gain more traction. It always came back to the same thing for Costia.

“She thinks you’re in love with me. I don’t know how many times I’ve explained to her that it’s not like that. She thinks I still love you even! I just can’t listen to it anymore. I can’t say I love you as my best friend anymore. I can’t have the argument again. It’s always that I don’t have enough time for her and you’re making eyes at me from across the stage. My onstage persona is a whore and I should make up my mind whether or not it’s all an act and be with her or if it’s who I am and run-off with you! It’s ridiculous and insane.”

Raven sat on the bed across from Lexa taking it all in, just listening. She didn’t know what to say.

“I threw a plate at her.” Lexa’s jaw shut and shifted to the left and back.

“Wait… YOU WHAT?” Raven went wide-eyed in a second.  _ That _ was certainly not a normal reaction.

“I threw a plate at her, I had been setting the table to eat when she started the argument up again. It broke against the wall. I’m sorry… I know we got that stuff because it was supposed to be unbreakable. Apparently it doesn’t stand up to an old pitching arm after all.”

They stared at each other for moment, Raven flabbergasted and Lexa looking like a mix of guilty and enthralled. They burst into laughter simultaneously.

“So it didn’t hit her then?”

“No, I wasn’t actually aiming for her…” Green eyes performed a dramatic eye roll.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah… I was angry, but not that angry!“ Lexa looked away slowly, looking around the room. “Anyway, I cleaned up the plate before I went upstairs. She stormed out of the house with some of her things after I threw her out.”

“Lex… you threw her out?” Raven sighed, trying to find a way to meet Lexa’s eyes.

“Yeah… I believe my exact words were ‘GET OUT! Get your shit and get the hell out of my house! I never want to see your damn face again! WE ARE DONE!’ and pointed to the door.” Lexa had slowly begun to curl back into a ball. Her arms wrapped around her knees again and her head sank forward.

“No… no no no no… Lexa. Don’t. Don’t do that, come back here. Look at me.” Raven waited for two green eyes to meet hers again. “It’s going to be okay. She’s gone. Things will get better now. It’s just the gang again, Mecha Station to the end okay? We’re all here for you. So no more hiding in here, yeah? We want to help you… I… I need to make sure you don’t… I just need to take care of you.” She pursed her lips, waiting for some sort of acknowledgment.

Lexa nodded. “Rae… You can’t blame yourself.”

“I’m not…” Raven side-eyed the nightstand looking for orange bottles.

“Yes, you are, I can see it all over your face.” Lexa moved to sit up on her knees, closing more of the space between the two of them on the bed. Laundry started to fall off the pile, blocking the way and she struggled, shoving it back on the pile.

“I pushed you. I was the one who pushed you to even ask her out. Encouraged you to make things work…”

“Which was entirely a learning experience for me Rae. One I needed to have, to experience for myself. You didn’t do this Raven. She did. I did. It was the two of us in it together and I wasn’t willing enough to compromise on the things I love most in this world for her. She took that out on me and blamed the person I care about most in this world. No Raven. You are not to blame. Costia started digging her own tunnel out of this relationship a long time ago.” Lexa finally closed the last of the difference between them, wrapping Raven’s arm around her and nuzzling in close.

They stayed that way not saying anything for a while. Raven just holding Lexa in her arms with her head tucked into her neck. They were both working through everything in their heads, like so many times before. Processing things side by side. It made Raven think of those times where Lexa would crawl into her bed in their dorm room and ask her for advice. It felt simpler to do this back then, back when the band was just starting. So much had happened already, they had already done so much growing up. They had fought their way through so much darkness together.

Lexa was right though, breaking up with Costia was an important milestone for her. The end of her first big relationship. One that Raven had seen her all the way through and now she was going to be there to help Lexa get over it. She swallowed. 

“How much is still here?”

“What? What are you talking about Rae?” Lexa lifted her head and stared at Raven, raising an eyebrow.

“How much of her shit is still in this room?” Raven looked sternly at Lexa.

“That’s actually part of why I ended up in the bed, not moving. It’s all around the room. I didn’t want to be near it.” Lexa looked sheepishly back at Raven.

“No… come on. Raven stood up and helped Lexa stand and find her footing. “There’s Oreos and milk in the hallway for you. Go sit and eat and I’ll work on getting it together okay?” She ran down the stairs, grabbed a garbage bag and came back to see Lexa tentatively piercing a cookie with a fork.

“Thanks for bringing the fork.” Lexa’s smile was weak, but it made Raven feel better anyway.

“I know you don’t like to get messy and it keeps the cookie from getting lost in the milk.” Raven shrugged and moved into Lexa’s room, looking around in search things she recognized as Costia’s. “Now… I think I can find most of the stuff, but Lex, I may need your help.”

Together they managed to fill the bag with the things Costia had left behind. Some leggings and t-shirts and a few sentimental pieces Raven couldn’t convince Lexa she should keep. Lexa sat outside the room and ate for the first time in a few days while Raven finished folding her laundry and putting it away. The final thing she did was hang Lexa’s coat back up in the closet and Lexa moved to stand, exhausted in the doorway.

“She was awful Raven. It was a horrific fight and I can’t say I’m disappointed it’s over. She was wrong, that coat… It’s part of my strength.”

“I know Lex. Did she really call you a whore?”

Lexa’s jaw twitched as she crawled back into the bed. “Not entirely, I think she used every other adjective and noun associated with it though.”

“Because if anyone is the whore around here…”

“Raven Reyes…”

“Lexa Woods.” Raven walked back over to the bed and pulled her best friend in close under her arm. “You are ‘The Commander’ and from what I can tell, you did everything, just about kicking her off a metaphorical balcony.” She smirked at her best friend and watched as Lexa slowly bit her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah… I kinda did.”

“Way to go, Lex.” Raven jabbed her in the stomach playfully. She gulped. “Lex. You know I have to ask.”

Lexa took a deep breath. “I wanted to.”

“I know. Where are they?”

“Rae…”

“Lexa Woods. Where are they? I know I had one bottle that you gave me… you know I won’t hesitate to turn your room upside down with Murph if you don’t tell me…”

Lexa dropped out from under Raven’s arm and plopped onto the bed. Her face fell into her hands as she sighed. “I wanted to so badly. Raven. I was shaking…”

“Which is why I tried to be here.”

“I know!” Lexa’s jaw twitched as she locked eyes with Raven. The argument was years old. Too many midterms and finals in college leaving her stressed out and reaching for the twisting cap. Raven pulling the bottles from her hands, pleading with her and reminding her she’s been there before. She shouldn’t be surprised Raven had started in on the interrogation. Lexa took a deep breath and fell back on the bed. She raised one arm and pointed across the room. “Top drawer.”

Raven sighed and went across the room to the dresser and pulled out the bottle. “You put it across the room…”

“I did.”

“You did fight it.”

“I did.”

“You still had to hold the bottle.”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t take any.”

“No. I didn’t. You can count if you want.”

Raven took a deep breath. After so many screaming matches, after the worst one in junior year Lexa had given up. They worked together and managed to find a way to handle the problem together. They kept each other in check. Rough patches with the band, the time Lexa had lost her voice for 3 weeks; Raven was there for Lexa. The anniversary of the accident, bad days when Raven wanted to claw her leg with the pain; Lexa made sure her best friend didn’t slip up.

“I’m proud of you, but you should have let me in.” 

“Sooner maybe, but Rae, I needed time on my own.”

“I know. I was just scared.”

“It’s why we have the key.”

“Yup, it is.”

“Thanks for not telling Murphy to come in.”

“Are you joking? It’s always me Lex. I promised.”

Lexa half smiled as she sat up. “Thanks.”

Raven pocketed the bottle to return it to the medicine cabinet later. She walked back to the bed and sat with her best friend, wrapping her arms tightly around her.

They sat quiet for a few minutes, Lexa curled in tightly to Raven.

“Do you want me to take care of her crap for you?”

Lexa sighed heavily against Raven’s chest. “You don’t have to do that.”

“If you do it, I’m not letting you go alone. Wouldn’t you rather just have it done and over with… out of sight…”

“Isn’t exactly out of mind, but I had the last word.”

“Wouldn’t you rather keep it that way?”

“Okay, but don’t be stupid Rae. I don’t need you to give her any reason to do something like call the cops.”

“Aw come on, Lex! Just one punch! Come on!” Raven goaded her.

“Raven… I should just do it.” Lexa made to stand up.

“No. You’re not seeing that bitch.” Raven gritted her teeth.

“Rae…”

“No, just… stay here. Let’s get you set up on the couch with something gory and some ice cream.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you? Thriller! Not gore!”

“There she is, there’s my best friend. Now come on.” Raven held her hand out and pulled Lexa up off of the bed, leading her downstairs. She pulled the pint of Rocky Road she had just brought home out of the freezer and handed it to Lexa with a spoon. They stayed cuddled up on the couch together under a blanket and argued about what movie to put on for ten minutes.  Raven occasionally stole spoonfuls of ice cream. “Hey!” Raven exclaimed through mouthfuls of chocolate and marshmallow. “I bought it!”

“Yeah!” Lexa snatched the spoon back. “For  _ me _ ! Stop stealing.” She scoffed and turned back to the movie.

When the movie was about over, Raven glanced over at Lexa to see her eyes heavy and her body starting lean towards her. She took the pint and spoon and moved them to the side table. Carefully, she slid out from next to Lexa and put a pillow underneath her head, pulling the blanket up over Lexa’s shoulders. “Just rest, Lex. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

The front door opened, Murphy walked in looking at what was going on in front of him. He raised an eyebrow at Raven.

“It’s been a long night. Keep an eye on her okay? There’s something I need to do.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Raven ran upstairs, into the bathroom, placing the bottle from her pocket inside the medicine cabinet again. She grabbed the trash bag from the hallway and headed for the front door. Opening the farmhouse door as quietly as she could, she froze halfway through the door, cringing as it creaked loudly on its old hinges. 

Lexa half lifted her head, looking toward the door. Raven could see she was still half-asleep. 

“Be careful, please Rae. Love you.”

“Love you too, Lex.” Raven turned and slipped through the door, wondering if either one of them meant that more than the other.

 

The roads were mostly deserted as Raven drove, pulling up in front of a taller building on the edge of the city. She held the bag up mouthing “Delivery” at the night guard by the door and took the elevator up. She knocked on the door three times loudly and listened to rapid footsteps approaching from the other side. 

“Excuse me, but what exactly do you… Oh.”

Raven thrust the bag towards Costia wordlessly.

“She couldn’t even face me herself.” Costia leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms, scoffing.

“Oh, don’t start your bull shit with me. I’m here because you destroyed her. Take this.”

Costia laughed darkly and dryly, but stayed still.

“Fine. Here.” Raven chucked the bag just inside of Costia’s front door. She shook her head as she tried to head back to the elevator.

“I hope you’re happy.”

Raven stopped dead and stared back at her best friend’s ex. “Happy? Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you can have her now. You got what you wanted.”

Raven took a long breath as her fingers flexed in and out of fists by her legs. “You, listen. The only reason I’m happy is that the biggest bitch in her life is finally gone.” With that she turned in a huff to head back to the elevator.

“Well at least I’m not lying to myself!” It was shouted loud enough for the whole hallway to hear.

Raven turned inside the elevator ready to shout back at her and instead saw the door slammed shut. The elevator doors closed with a thud and Raven finally let go of her anger. “FUCK YOU!”

 

Back in her car, Raven thumbed furiously through her phone for something to listen to on the way home. She settled for an 80’s list she kept in rotation for band possibilities. She hit shuffle and resisted the urge to peel out of the parking lot. 

She hadn’t realized she was singing along for half the ride. Raven pulled into the driveway and jumped out of her car.

She helped Lexa head up to bed and tucked her in, closing her door with a soft thud. She spent the rest of the night with her headphones on pouring over chord charts and arranging.

The next day Raven convinced Lexa she would come to practice that night. She slid a chart across the counter to Lexa along with her Cheerios. “Just… take a look, alright? I moved it to a better key.”

Lexa flicked through the chart, mouthing some lyrics here and there. She looked back up at Raven, a bit misty eyed, chewing the corner of her mouth. Her jaw twitched. “Let’s try it tonight.”

“Okay, it’s settled. I’ll throw the charts at Murph and O. I’m sure it will come together nicely.”

“What are we doing about the sax solo?”

“I had a thought that we could just let Murphy kill it instead…”

“Alright. I don’t know that I can play on this. At least not right now.”

“I can take guitar. That’s fine.”

A few hours later in the garage, Murphy was busy running riffs on his bass, while Octavia was working on rhythms on her legs. Raven came in and dropped the music on their stands. “Look it over, I want to try it when she comes in.” She gulped hard. “We’re doing this for her.”

The other two just nodded and dove into the charts. Lexa came in, her coat hanging long over her short-shorts and combat boots. The sleeves were pushed up to help handle the heat of the garage. Her eyes scanned the room and she headed to the mic. “Ready?”

Raven glanced around the room as she slipped her guitar strap over her head. Seeing nods from Murphy and Octavia, she nodded back at Lexa. “Count us off, O.”

Raven took the opening saxophone riff on the guitar and the song took off. Lexa looked up, coat open, gripping the mic stand and bit through the words. 

“But it’s time to let you know, I’m gonna harden my heart.”

Raven could feel the change in Lexa before the end of the first chorus. They kept making their way through, stumbling over chords here and there. Murphy fumbled through a first draft of his solo, Raven peeled through hers knowing the riff too well. She joined Lexa finally on the last chorus, harmonizing lightly, not wanting to throw her off. She shouldn’t have worried though, Lexa kept pushing through, running and riffing her own way through the ending. 

The chords echoed around the garage, still humming. Murphy whistled, “Damn Commander. I think this needs to be on the set list.”

“Murph,” Rae glared at him, warning him to watch it. “Lex?”

Lexa sniffed audibly and frantically wiped her eyes with her sleeves. She turned around to face all of them. “Shame I didn’t put the paint on, it would be running well now.”

Raven hurriedly took off her guitar and strode over to her best friend, throwing an arm around her and pulling her close. “You sounded badass.”

Lexa picked her head up and scoffed. “You think I don’t know that. Murph, you’re right. If everyone else agrees I think it goes on the set list for the next show. If we can get it together… I think I… I kinda need it right now.”

“We’ll work on it.  I think we can get it ready.” Raven nodded and exchanged looks with the rest of the band. 

 

The next weekend, they opened the show with their usual standard, “Heaven Knows”. The crowd went wild when Lexa took command of the stage, eating the mic, her open coat billowing behind her. Her wild hair and the makeup only solidifying her position as the apparent frontman of the band. The show went off without a hitch, and with much jaw twitching from Lexa, so afterwards she made her way over to the bar, ordering a shot of tequila.

Raven noticed she was alone and moved across the bar. Before she could get next to Lexa on a stool, a brunette Raven was sure she had seen at their shows before moved in next to Lexa. She watched Lexa carefully, looking for a telltale blush, or a sign of discomfort. Instead she watched Lexa casually brush her hair to side and raise her eyebrows curiously. The brunette slid her phone across the bar towards Lexa, clearly asking for her number, which had Raven wanting to swoop in and save her. She felt blood rushing through her faster, “ _ Am I jealous?” _ She shook her head and exhaled, she wasn’t jealous, she was just being protective of her best friend. It had been a rough break-up. That was all. She moved to swoop in and stopped herself as she watched Lexa push the phone back toward the girl without picking it up. Lexa shook her head, patted the girl’s hand, kicked back her shot and turned around. 

“Are we ready to load? I’ll come help.”

Raven stood gaping for a second, shocked and then shook herself out of it. “Yeah, uh we should go finish that. I’m sure O could use some help with her kit.”

Without skipping a beat the girl who had just been hitting on Lexa sidled up to her. “Hi there, you’ve got… some pretty talented hands there.”

“Yeah uh, listen. Not tonight, okay? Maybe next time.”

 

“I’m shocked!” Lexa snorted when she saw Raven come over to help load the van. “You’re not leaving with crop top over there? I thought for sure…”

Raven cut her off and grabbed the cases for Murphy’s bass and her guitar. “Not tonight.”

“Don’t count yourself out of some well deserved fun on my part, Rae. She was staring at you half of the show.”

“Yup and the other half she was staring at you!” Raven nudged her in the shoulder as she passed. “I watched her hit on you first, Lex.”

“What? Nah, she just wanted to know if we could talk sometime…”

Octavia rolled her eyes as she walked past with her cymbals. “Lex, I know you’ve been out of the game for two and half years, but she was _so_ _obviously_ hitting on you.”

“Nah, I just told her I’m not really up for hanging out much right now. Work is super busy and the we’re just starting to take off…”

“And the blogs are all buzzing about how you’re single again…” Murphy chortled.

“WHAT?” Raven and Lexa stared at him.

“Look, I don’t know how the fan girls figure it out… I just know they did. I have a feeling that’s why the crowd was just a little bigger than usual tonight.” Murphy shrugged and shoved more stuff into the side door of the van.

Lexa felt the tequila going to her brain faster than she wanted it to and staggered a little backwards.

“Whoa there, Commander. Keep it together. This, this could be good.” Raven shrugged. “We’ll keep the hungry animals, I mean horny girls, I mean fans off your back.”

“Yup, Raven will be happy to take some of them home and fuck them instead.” Octavia snorted and nudged her with her elbow.

“Shut up! Go find yourself some eligible bachelor from the audience.” Raven stuck her tongue out.

“Whoa, save that for your girls there. You’re the one who likes going after the fans.”

“I don’t know Octavia. There seemed to be a few men out there watching you. That tall one in the back with the muscles…” Murphy winked at her. “I saw you catch his eye after one of your solos.”

Octavia blushed redder than a tomato. “Shut up.”

Murphy busted out laughing. “Alright, come on. Let’s get home.”

Everyone made general noises of agreement and made fast work of finishing packing up. They climbed in the van and drove home. Lexa sat next to Raven and rested her head on her shoulder. 

“Seriously though, Lex. If anyone bothers you let me know.” Raven brushed a few pieces of Lexa’s wild hair behind her ear.

“What? You’re going to be my bodyguard?” Lexa smiled. 

Raven shrugged the shoulder Lexa wasn’t leaning on, “I mean, we can hire one if you want.”

Lexa snorted and shook her head slightly, “Hardly necessary, Raven.”

“Alright… Just know I’m watching out for you.” Raven’s hand slipped easily into Lexa’s giving it a little squeeze.

“I always know that, Rae.” She smiled at her best friend. Raven couldn’t help but notice the way her eyelashes batted slightly even in the dark makeup still surrounding her eyes.

She inhaled deeply, “Good.”

“I just don’t think I’m ready for anything yet. Even something casual.” It sounded kind of like an afterthought. 

Raven gawked down at her, “I’m not suggesting you jump right into the lake again Lexa.”

“I know, I just needed to say it for myself. I guess I did know she was hitting on me… I just didn’t really want to believe it.”

“You’re hot Lex. You just didn’t notice the girls so much before because of Costia.”

Lexa winced, “Yeah I guess.”

Silence fell between them for a minute or two. Raven toyed with her thoughts. “You just… let me know if anything changes. You know… when you’re ready. Until then I’ll keep my Lexa alert on.” She half nuzzled the top of Lexa’s head with her own.

“Sounds good, Rae.” Lexa let a long yawn out. “Love you, Rae.” She squeezed Raven’s hand tightly.

“Love you too, Lex.”


	2. Darkness to light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven is struggling after tragedy strikes in her senior year. She finds comfort where she least expects it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My girlfriend gave me a prompt and ordered me to write, this is what came out of me... so here is another short drabble. This one from the very very early days of Lexaven in this verse.

“Look I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

The words echoed in Raven’s brain, as if it had become an empty ancient cave. She felt herself gulp hard sitting on the bench in the main office. The principal had sent her out after she had “collected herself”, which merely meant she had ceased crying silently for the moment. Her hand had been pressing hard into her leg, her stitches were still itchy. The pressing pushed away the itchiness, pushed away the pain. It was an easier, softer tick than what she longed to be doing, a more subtle way of dealing with the ache in her heart, a way to dull the throbbing and screech that repeated in her brain. But it had all started to quiet from the second another hand had been placed over hers. Raven brought her eyes up to meet those of the person next to her. 

She knew Lexa, it was true not well, but they had bonded over college audition failures mere months earlier. Raven couldn’t help questioning how or why Lexa knew she was here, sitting in the office. 

“The orchestra teacher sent me up here to make copies.” Raven only just then registered the large pile of papers in the girl’s lap. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize I had said that out loud.”

“You didn’t and you didn’t have to, I could just tell you were thinking it.” Lexa shrugged and softly smiled. “If you need to talk, I’m here. I can sorta relate… I mean… I just mean I’m a good listener.”

Raven stared blankly at her for a long moment, “I thought I could come back today. I didn’t want to miss more classes. I thought… I thought the monotony might help keep me distracted.”

Lexa squeezed her hand tightly. Raven breathed deeply, the squeeze somehow pushing away the chaos in her brain, making things quiet for the first time in weeks. At the same time it brought fresh feelings bubbling up from deep in her belly, feelings she kept trying to push down.  _ Put on a good face. You’re strong. You’ve done so much already. Just keep going.  _

Lexa must have somehow read her mind though, or maybe just read her face more easily. Maybe Raven wasn’t as good at hiding her feelings as she thought. Either way, Lexa pulled her into a tight hug. A few weeks ago Raven might have pushed out of the embrace, but after weeks of so many “relatives” and their false sympathy and forced sentences, this embrace felt so different. They didn’t know each other very well sure, but there wasn’t any pretense in this gesture. She wasn’t going to be expected to smile weakly at the end of this. She found herself instead sinking into the girl’s arms and just accepting the hug for what it was meant to be, comfort. 

“I don’t want to tell you what to do, so you take a few minutes and think about what _you_ _need_.” Lexa whispered softly into her ear. “We can just stay here, or go somewhere. I’ve got a hall pass to get anywhere I need and I can add you to it.”

Raven found herself choking back a laugh.  _ Such a goody two-shoes. A hall pass?! _ “I should probably just go home. It’s not like they’re really expecting me to stay…” She only then pulled away slowly, finding she suddenly missed the genuine human contact.

“Do you want to go home?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

Raven gripped her leg, it throbbed again. She had forced herself to stop taking the pills so she could go back to school, but she was aching for their relief now. If she went home now she knew she’d find the bottle immediately. She shook her head at Lexa, barely meeting her green eyes.

“Can you trust me? I have an idea…” Lexa stood up and held out her hand.

“What about your music Ms Juilliard?” Raven pointed to the pile of papers in Lexa’s other hand.

Lexa turned to the teacher mailboxes and stuck the large pile of copies into the orchestra teacher’s box. Turning back to Raven she extended both hands and took Raven’s hands in hers, “Come with me, I know a great place to clear your head.”

In a few minutes, Lexa had easily wandered past 3 different teachers on hall duty, flashing a smile and her little hall pass in her assignment book along the way with Raven in tow. Suddenly they slipped through the door to the auditorium stage and had found the ladder to the fly system. They climbed up and Raven thought maybe their journey was done, but Lexa continued on to a second ladder at the back of the balcony. Raven hobbled along behind her, “Hey? What the hell? Where the fuck are we going?”

Lexa smiled, “I thought you said you trusted me…” she winked and resumed her climb. 

Raven watched the girl open a hatch above the ladder, and found herself following her after all. As she reached the top Lexa helped her climb out of the hatch onto the roof of the school. The air was clear, the wind felt good against Raven’s cheek. It felt like for the first time in a very long time, air reached the bottom of her lungs. Breaths came easier. She was speechless and merely stood still with her eyes closed for a minute, her mind quiet and as still as her body for once. 

“I come up here when the world seems like too much. It’s…quiet up here. Don’t worry the hatch won’t close on you, it has a hook and chain. No one should bother you, you can stay up here. I’ll let you have some space.” The big haired brunette turned to go, but felt her hand caught in the dark-eyes beauty’s. 

“Please don’t go. Don’t… don’t leave me alone.” Her bottom lip got caught between her teeth, and she flushed for the first time in recent memory.

Lexa nodded softly, “Okay, I can stay.”

“It’s just, you made the chaos stop, you brought me light…”

“Okay,” Lexa squeezed her hand tightly again. “Don’t worry, you’re not alone anymore. I’ll keep the dark away.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how often I might update these. There was a lot of potential backstory to this fic so I may throw out a few of these one shots every now and then. Thanks for reading!


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